As a mom of 3 I have been through the whole stressful process of labor and delivery and everything that happens afterwards. There were so many things I did the first time, that I made sure NOT to repeat the second and third time. So I wanted to give some advice to those mothers getting ready to have their babies and more importantly some etiquette for the family and friends of that mother!
We all have friends who haven’t had kids yet and are really excited when they find out their best friend is going to have a baby. We also have those family members that do not give a crap about your feelings or your privacy all they care about is the baby!! So how do we as new moms deal with this issue and more importantly…how do we say LEAVE ME ALONE…nicely!
My first advice to any new mom is to take the time in the hospital for you and your husband and new baby. Take those first couple days to soak in how much your life just changed and to learn from experienced staff on things you didn’t know. Don’t be afraid to tell people NO!! You do not have any obligation to anyone. This is your baby and your experience!
NOW….for all those people who just have to come and see the baby and can’t wait…here are some tips for you!!
- ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS ASK!!!! Please don’t be that person that just shows up unannounced. It just puts everyone in an awkward position.
- KNOW when it is time to leave! Nothing is worse than being exhausted with a newborn who needs to eat and you have a visitor who won’t shut up and take a hint that they need to leave!!
- Know when to hand the baby back! I was a little different with each of my children. With my first I had postpartum, so I could care less who held her as long as I didn’t have to. With my other two, I hated it when someone would continue to hold my screaming baby and not give them back. I understand that it may not bother that person holding a fussy baby….but trust me it BOTHERS the mother!!
- PLEASE don’t wear strong perfume!! I have one family member (which obviously I won’t mention) that always wore such strong perfume. It was awful when they took my baby because I knew if that perfume was giving me a headache…it was for sure bothering my newborn! So please, just don’t do it!!!!
- DON’T JUST DON’T comment on how the mother looks! Chances are she knows she looks like shit. She just went through labor, delivery, the worst pain of her life, followed by sleepless nights, sore boobs, sore everything and an all the sudden squishy tummy!! We don’t need your lies of how great we look (we know you are full of crap), and we also don’t need the truth of how we really look!!! WE KNOW!!!!
- PLEASE for the love of God don’t visit if you are sick!! The baby will still be around the following week when you don’t have a cough or runny nose. Also don’t try and say it is allergies…cuz we won’t believe you!! JUST STAY HOME!!
- NO ADVICE!! If we ask you for advice then by all means answer…however stick with just the question asked. We don’t need your whole life story on how you parented your child!!
- Please don’t expect much from the parents. Chances are they are exhausted and might not be the happiest people to be around. Don’t take it personal!
- PLEASE don’t make the mother feel awkward if she needs to feed the baby! Chances are if the mother says the baby needs to eat…then you need to leave! Honestly that is the nicest way us mothers can tell you to get out!!
- BRING FOOD!! Any new parent is going to be much nicer if you bring them food!! Just trust me on this one! Also you will probably get an invite back a lot sooner if you do!
For all the moms getting ready to have their babies…feel free to print this list out and hang it on your door!! Share it to all your friends and family and make sure they know the rules!!
Now before my mother and mother in law get on me over this post…I would say these rules exclude grandparents…mostly! LOL!!
What are some rules you think should be added?
I hope everyone had an awesome weekend and enjoyed every precious minute! This past couple weeks have been so stressful and difficult with Pippa not adjusting well to kindergarten. However, I think we got it figured out and hopefully she is well on her way to rocking it!
With everything going on Greg and I forget to focus on just us sometimes. So this weekend thanks to my momma we got a much needed date night! We went to a great little restaurant here in town called Boulder Creek and enjoyed every QUIET moment! We got to just be a couple again and not have to worry about kids being occupied, or taking kids to the restroom. It is always so refreshing to hang out with my hubby and be reminded of why I love him so much. We have so much fun together and he really is my best friend.
My food was amazing and I will definitely be going back!! I got the smothered chicken, to die for Au Gratin potatoes, and grilled asparagus!!
Saturday I got to hang out with my Sassy ladies and we had an awesome Halloween photo shoot at a cemetery. The rain didn’t cooperate, but it actually made for some awesome pictures!! I can’t wait to share them with you!
Pippa got in on the fun and wanted a cat face as well!!
Sunday was all about church and meal prep. I actually got to go to the grocery store by myself (which was AMAZING) and really concentrate on what I was putting in my cart. I love doing my meal prep, because I like to be in control of what is going in my body and being able to track it.
I hope everyone has a great week!!
As a mom of 3 little girls I am stressed, tired, frustrated, happy, crazy, anxious, and insane all in a days work. These days go by so fast that I wonder at times what I am actually doing. I feel like most days I traumatize my children with my anxiety and quick temper, I feel like I could have been more patient or more fun. I am so busy throughout the day that I feel like we just never have enough time to create memories. This lead me to think about what my kids will remember about me when I am older or gone. When someone asks them about their mom, what will they say? Will it be happy memories? Will it be that I yelled a lot? More importantly what will I WANT them to remember?
- I hope they remember that I tried my hardest. I tried to give them life lessons, I tried to keep them safe, I tried to keep them happy and confident, and I tried to keep them open minded to everyone in this world. I may not have always gotten it right and no where near perfect…but I tried like hell for them.
- I am sure they will remember that I constantly nagged them about their attitudes and talking back. I hope they even use some of my lines on their children!
- I hope they will remember that I drove them to school, to parties, to softball, to soccer, to gymnastics and anywhere else they wanted to be because I WANTED to and not because I had to.
- I hope they remember how much their father and I loved each other and always put family first.
- I hope they remember that mommy worked out and was proud of being a healthy fit mom, that I didn’t just let myself go after having kids and I worked hard to show them a healthy lifestyle.
- I hope they remember that I liked to have fun and it wasn’t always just daddy who played.
- I hope they remember that they made me laugh every single day. I might have been upset every day as well…but they always made me laugh.
- I hope they remember all the times we did makeup and hair tutorials.
- I hope they remember all the sacrifices I made and dreams I gave up to be the mom I thought they deserved, and did it willingly.
However I hope they DON’T remember that mommy seemed upset a lot or unhappy. I pray that if they do, then they also remember how I fought like crazy to overcome my depression and anxiety every single day. I hope they don’t look at other mothers and wish they had “that” mom instead. A mom who had more energy, better at crafts, or better at cooking. I fear that they will look at their sisters and think I loved one of them more than the other. I fear that they won’t want to have kids because I made it seem not fun or too hard. I fear they will not be proud of me because I didn’t “work” like other mothers and have accolades.
I have no idea what they will say, but I hope they will say “She was always there. She was unique and one of a kind. She was our mother and we wouldn’t change anything about her.”
I love you three girls more than life itself and each day I am shown how much I will actually do just to make you happy.