“She’s imperfect but she tries
She is good but she lies
she is hard on herself
She is broken and won’t ask for help
She is messy but she’s kind
She is lonely most of the time..
She is all of this mixed up and baked in a beautiful pie
She is gone, but she use to be mine.”
I heard this song the other day from Sara Bareilles and I was mesmerized by it. Ever since becoming a stay at home momma (SAHM) I have felt like my old identity was lost and this new person I had to become was someone I didn’t recognize. I started to lose myself in this new role Greg and I created for me and I didn’t know how to handle it. Even after being a SAHM for the past 7 years…I still struggle with this.
I catch myself pausing before I answer questions about myself, because for so long it has been about these little people we created. I can tell you anything you want to know about my girls, but if you asked me what my hobbies are…I HAVE NO IDEA…does changing diapers and doing laundry count?
I use to have so many hobbies..I loved softball, shopping, hanging with friends (who somehow magically disappear when you have kids), I loved to go dancing, concerts and see movies. My husband and I would just go to a store and goof off for hours just hanging out. I loved to be in the kitchen for a few hours creating dinners and desserts that were so good. Then everything changed!
All the sudden I was thrown into an exhausting world of diaper changes, laundry, bottle feeding every couple hours, sleepless nights, worrying constantly about everything, homework, driving everywhere, breaking up fights between sisters over the dumbest things, changing my clothes a few times a day cuz I keep getting spit up on. According to an article I read on Happyworker.com mothers spend the equivalent of three 40-hour work weeks changing diapers per child per year and are forced to stop and attend to their toddlers 210 times everyday!
I of course chose to take on this role, but you don’t realize how far gone you are until you see old photos of yourself and don’t even remember who that was. It seems so long ago that my world was about me. Now my whole universe revolves around these tiny
terrors angels that I brought into this crazy world. So how do I get out of this rut I am in? I have come up with a few ideas to help other mommies like myself who give so much to their kids that they forget about themselves!
- MAKE TIME FOR YOURSELF – This seems so obvious but as mothers we feel guilty about taking a little time for ourselves to regroup or God forbid…RELAX! In my home I always take a “mommy time-out” if I feel myself starting to get frustrated. Whether it is doing a little 30 minute workout, or going upstairs to get away from the noise for a while….it helps!!
- JOIN SOME SORT OF SOCIAL MEDIA – I know a lot of people don’t like social media and that is fine, but it can help connect you to the outside world! Talk to someone over the age of 6 and see if there are mommy groups you could join.
- FIND SOMETHING YOU USE TO ENJOY – I know it is hard to remember a time when you weren’t pregnant or had someone counting on you for everything, but try really hard. Whether it is cooking, painting, writing..think hard and find that passion again! Try carving out a little time to indulge in that!
- SET A GOAL – Whether it is to committing to workout a couple times a week, or to loose the last few pounds of baby weight, maybe it is to cook 1 big family meal a week..whatever it may be SET IT & STICK TO IT!! This will help you feel accomplished and satisfied that you set something and you got it done!!
Hopefully some of these tips help, if you have any to add please drop them in the comment section! I would love to hear what you think! Below is the song I was talking about, so you all can listen to it!!
Find out where I am linking up this week!
Titus 2sDay Link-Up Party!
Titus 2 Tuesday #184